Stanley Writes: Opinions and Human Relations

    Couple arguing and shouting at each other

    I once imagined how the world could be if all humans share one view on any topic in life. Where the rich, the poor, the white, the black and the yellow, the young, the old, the women and the men all share same opinion and by one person regarding everything. Do you think the world would have been better of than now?

    The world would have been extremely boring if it dwellers follow the same opinion by someone. We would all eat same food because the rest are opined by someone as poisonous, use the same means of transportation because the others are like signing death warrants, have same leader because the others are incompetent, wear same clothes, one religion etc. Imagine the number of resources and capabilities that would have been untapped by now.

    Opinion is someone’s knowledge, advice, conclusion, experience, feelings or view expressed about something. Its a personal expression of someone’s feelings or thoughts. When it can be proven it becomes a fact.

    Opinions are shaped by our backgrounds. It could be where a person lived or his or her profession. So in a nutshell, they are shaped by socioeconomic factors. This makes one’s opinion differ from the other. We may both be lawyers, but we come from different homes, this would influence our opinion on something. We may come from same home, but different professions and exposures in life would definitely affect our opinions on a topic.

    Everything existing now was born out of someone’s opinion. Someone had to think that there could be a means of transportation by air. The person opined. There were data to prove so it became a fact. They pursued and that opinion became reality. The same way we wouldn’t be experiencing several inventions if the inventors were shut not to come out with their opinions. Someone had to say I don’t like this, I like that one, I don’t feel this is it, that one rather would be okay. And as varieties were pursued, everyone had/has what could make his or her meaningful to live with.

    Opinions have saved lives, and still saving lives. In emergencies, where there are no clues to pursue, people mostly with strong background and experience are asked to give their opinions on the task at hand. It yield results, either good or bad. And if bad, lessons are learned to save consequent lives. You can call this discretion. I will call it opinion, this is my opinion.

    Some people greatly despise opposing views in a way that it affects their relationship with the opposer personally. It abruptly cut off their social lives, and this is one of my heartaches.

    “Opinions are like onions. They spell similarly, usually have many layers, and tend to make people cry.”

    Caitlyn Paige, Goodreeds Quote

    Do you have to be angry over one’s opinion whilst you hold yours as absolutely okay and not subjected to opposition?

    The only reason to justify such behavior is that about 90% of humans subconsciously want people to be like them; to think like they do, to believe in what they believe in. This makes them feel irate because they see opposing views as an attack on them, and have to jump to defend themselves. Its like “If I like this, and I opine its right, and you like a different thing, which I opine its wrong then we are not cool. Mine is right. Else, you mean I’m wrong since you claim yours is right. Which also mean I’m not smart or wise.” They take it personally.

    I’ve seen lot of celebrities falling and losing their career because they expressed their opinion over a topic and the public didn’t buy. Lots of talents and promising personalities with careers piloting in the skies have been submerged through expression of opinion. Close friends and even blood relations can’t watch eye to eye because of an opinion that led to argument.

    As a result, lot of people are depressed and frustrated because they can’t express themselves. If they do, they would lose something that would greatly cost their lives. They can’t afford losing job, not to talk of great friends and families. The very day people realize your opinion on a particular topic or subject which opposes theirs, they unfollow you even on social media, they disassociate from you. They despise even the good things you do. All the things they gave you credit on become thrash in their eyes on a second look. Hence, those that can’t stand this stigma and rejection have to pretend or to compromise and live with uncomfortableness the rest of their lives.

    We have to understand that the world needs everyone’s opinion to become a better place. There is nothing like a ‘stupid’ opinion. From the perspective of the person opining, shaped by his background he is right, he sees the topic differently. All you can do is to express yours without being arrogant or rude.

    Understand that we all come from different backgrounds. Even with one culture, there are subcultures. When someone has a different opinion, it’s neither an insult on your personality nor is it meaning you’re not smart. Its just telling you that he/she sees the topic differently, based on his/her background or exposure in life. Instead of being irate and losing your cool and social life, pity colleagues with opposing views. Note them as lost, and need to be guided not by arrogance and vulgarity or enmity, but by facts.

    Allowing others to express their views, and standing by them thereafter, shows maturity, and not just that. Its shows love as well. Don’t hate others for their opinions, welcome them just as you want yours to be welcomed. A good social environment; where human relations are healthy can best be promoted by tolerance. Let’s tolerate others, let’s mature, and let’s love.

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