Home General News Quayson Writes : The Family – God’s Order

Quayson Writes : The Family – God’s Order


Psalm 128:3 Thy wife shall be a fruitful vine by the sides of thine vine : Thy children like Olive plants round about thy table

This scripture from the good book makes us aware that God is very much interested in the family setting. To have a well composed family in itself is a blessing from God.

We as humans must understand the perspective of God when it comes to family setting. I use this opportunity to expound on the family setting and how God intends for it to be like.

Father And Husband – God’s Order

A father is a leader, the head of the family, the provider of food, clothing, shelter and security for the home. A father must be the first role model to his children and give stragic direction as to how he wants the family to succeed. A father is a husband that must love the wife and listen to her suggestions for family growth not a dictator in the family. A father must be the first source of moral standards at home. A father must carry himself with dignity and respect. A father must not quarrel or beat his wife at home or discuss the weaknesses of his wife to others. A father must be there for the family anytime and help build both his wife and children to become financially independent because we don’t have life always. A father must insure the future of the family so that if he is dead or not around the family can still stand on it’s feet.

The bible says a good man leaves inheritance for his children’s children. The focus is not just on his immediate children but that of his children’s children. If your wealth can last only up to your children then you have not met the mark of God’s standard.

Companies like Coca Cola, Guinness are all family businesses that have survived centuries because of fathers. This is what the Bible says. Children must have sound education and wives must be empowered both emotionally, financially and spiritually to keep the family running even in the absence of the father.

We can understand more who a father is by dissecting our Lord’s prayer. It says :

Our “father” who art in heaven, halloweth be thy “name”, thy “kingdom” come on. Thy “will” be done on Earth as it is heaven. Give us this day our “daily bread” and “forgive” us our trespasses as we forgive others their trespasses. “Lead” us not into temptation but “deliver” us from evil, for thine is the “kingdom”, the “power” and the “glory”, “forever and ever”. Amen.

This is the prayer that Jesus gave to his disciples and it emphasises the role of the father more than any exposition in the Bible. You can see from this prayer vividly what Jesus thinks a father should do. These are are functions of a father deduced from the Lord’s prayer :

1. Name
2. Kingdom
4. Daily bread
5. Forgive
6. Lead
7. Deliver
8. Power
9. Glory
10. Forever and Ever

Let me expound briefly on them, just briefly

1. Name
It is the responsibility of the father to maintain a good name for the family by a good and proper upbringing of the children and not be engaged in things that will tarnish the image of the family. Everyone in the family carries the father’s surname and as a father you must protect that name with integrity.

2. Kingdom
A father must bulid a kingdom for his home. A kingdom has dominance, juisdiction and presence. A father must build a lasting legacy for the family.

3. Will
A father must have a will for his family meaning and objective, a goal, a mission and a purpose for the family. The father must decide on the future of his family in authority. The father must give strategic direction and communicate it effectively to members of the family. The wife must support this will and give constructive suggestions yet in humility. Both the wife and children must follow a father’s will.

4. Daily Bread
A father must feed his family daily by doing a job or business to provide for the family. The wife must also be empowered to contribute to the family’s daily bread.

5. Forgive
A father must learn to forgive at home all the wringdoings of the family and must inculcalcate that spirit in his wife and children.

6. Lead
A father must lead by example and build all the family members to be leaders in their own rights. A father must lead the home into success and prosperity. He must create a vision for everyone to follow. To lead also means to listen to both criticisms and suggestions of family members, both the wife and kids. How do you lead a people you don’t listen to?

7. Deliver
Times are not always good or rosy but a father must be the deliverer of the family in difficult times. The father is the number one warrior of the family and must fight to protect the family borders.

8. Power
The father is the powerhouse of the family. All members of the family must be able to depend fully on the authority and power of the father without fear of the outside world. The father must wield his sword and be the heroe of the family to any external forces.

9. Glory
A father must bring glory home and not shame. A father must not make his children and wife an object of mockery to the outside world but must protect the good name of the family by doing that which is good in the outside world. A father’s glory must cover the whole family and must lift the family image up with great achievement in glory.

10. Forever and Ever
It simply means a father must create a lasting legacy in everything good for the family. A father must not be forgotten when he dies because his good legacy still lives on.

These are just brief summary of what a father represents. If I want to expound more it won’t end. Suffice this for now and digest it carefully and see where we all fall short as fathers and make amends.

The Bible says God is love and anyone who does not love is not of God. A father must also show unconditional love to wife and children and all the external family members of himself, his wife and all he comes accross.

Husband And Wife – God’s Order

Husband means master not a male partner. Being the head of the house you agreed in marriage to be under his authority – Pastor Chris Oyakhilome

Women, the key word is authority. Those of you who want to always have an agreement first with your husband on any issue before implementation becareful. Authority means from top to bottom not the other way round. If you give your husband instructions, it is not acceptable by God. With great humility you can suggest things to your husband not dictate to him or rebel against his will.

The relationship between a husband and wife is a master-servant relationship not partners. That said it does not mean the wife is a servant or slave to the husband but must be of service to the husband and recognise his authority as the head and Lord of the house.

So those women who don’t respect your husbands and everything you want to challenge him, your prayers will not be answered. Don’t you see that because you are not submissive to your husband you are suffering in your marriage. Your husband is not suppose to understand you, you must understand him and fashion your ways to suit him.

God created man and everything in the world and the Bible says everything was good even without the woman. So you can see a woman was not in the original plan of God. It is only when God saw Adam to be alone then it occurred to him to create woman as a support to the man.

If your function as a woman is to fight for equal rights and privileges with man then you have lost it big time. I say the truth, nothing but the truth. All those feminist and activist for equal rights can come at me, I don’t care.

Can anyone answer why we don’t have women angels in heaven? Go and correct the heavenly order before you try to correct that of the earth. There is nothing like female spirits or angels anywhere. There is no “Maame Water” any where. There is nothing like succubus. It’s a lie, demons, principalities and powers are all Male spirits.

How come the God we believe in and the Devil are both male? Let us create man in our own image, think about this heavy statement. Women please know your place, the only reason you were created is because of man so if you fail to recognise a man, you have lost it big time. Get that settled in your heads.

Jesus, Mohammed and Budha are all Male. Give me one religion in the world established by a woman or where did God send a woman to save any race or people? Forget these whites, they don’t believe in God but we do. I am not saying women are not important but know your place. The only reason you are here on Earth is because of man so if you digress from that you will never have anything called peace on this Earth.

That said men must show love to their wives, accept them and listen to them to successfully run the family.

Children – God’s Order

Children are gifts from God and a father’s heritage. Children comes from God and it is the way by which God fills the earth. God said to Adam and Eve, go and multiply. The multiplication here is not just in children but in every area of our lives.

Children must know they are products of love making and must love and obey their parents in every way. Parents must also understand that children came out of love and can only survive and achieve their purpose on Earth if we show them love. An obedient child is a delight to both parents. The Bible advocates children to honour their parents and it is the only commandment that comes with a promise of long life.

If you think about it carefully, long life need not be prayed for but must be worked at. The only condition to long life in the Bible is obedience to our parents. You must respect your parents and take care of them in their old age.

To honour is to show respect, admire and recognition for a person’s effort. As children we need to respect all the instructions of our parents, we must admire them in every way even if they are not the way we would have wanted them to be. We must also recognise the authority and the roles of parents in our life an must completely submit ourselves to them in every way.

With great humility you can express your displeasure on issues to your parents but not to challenge or insult them in any way. The Bible says any child who dispises his parents, his light shall be put off.

It is your responsibility as a child to succeed so your parents can also benefit from your success. It is the heart desire of every parent to see their children become successful in life. A child must protect the family name, image and integrity and must not be engaged in things that will damage the name of the family.

Children must display innocense and not run ahead of their age. A child must always maintain a learning spirit. It is said what an elderly person sees when sitting, a child cannot see it if even standing on mountain Afajato. A child must listen to advice and understand that they cannot let the investment of their parents go down the drain.

All things being equal every child will become a parent and it is important with obedience to learn the art of parenting from the parents you have now else you will be a bad parent. If you don’t listen to your parent’s advice you will fail in life as the Bible has promised.

Jesus loves children and does not forbid them to come to him. A child must know God and get closer to him if you want to achieve a meaningful life. It is the responsibility of parents to introduce God to their children. Alot of parents focus on only the moral and educational upbringing of the children but not so concerned about their religious upbringing. The earlier you introduce God to your children, you save them alot of harm and wrong directions in the future.

It is the responsibility of parents to give their children a spiritual direction and meaning in life. The Bible says teach your children the way of God and they will give you peace. The reason God chose Abraham to be the father of all nations is because he knew he will direct his family in the ways of the Lord.

This means there are other ways that children can fall victim to. The devil is not so interested in old men and women because they have lived their lives already but is more interested in children, young men and women that is why you cannot leave their spiritualilty to themselves.

The Bible says there is foolishness in the heart of every child and it is only the rod that will take it away. It also says train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows he will not depart from it.

It is the responsibility of parents to train and nurture their children in the way of God so they don’t go wayward. In UK and other parts of the world, children call the police to arrest their parents because they were punished. Most of these whites don’t believe there is God and are bringing up their children in their own ways and that is the results they are reaping now.

When you take out the God factor in bringing up your children the family will suffer in the end. Train your children people of God and punish them where the need be and you will be saving a whole future generation.

Let love lead in the institution called family and God will be pleased with the family and bless it greatly. We must all play our effective role in the family tree. A home full of love is a danger zone for the devil.

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