Home Editorial Quayson Writes : Husband Is The Head Of Marriage Not Pastor

Quayson Writes : Husband Is The Head Of Marriage Not Pastor


Popular gospel musician, Queen Empress Gifty Adorye has advised married couples not to take their marrital issues to men of God because they also have marrital problems alike. I could not agree with this woman the more. I consider this statement from her a very sensible one and consider her a very sensible woman. I think men of God are over stepping their boundaries when it comes to people’s marriages.

I don’t even understand why church business must be about marriage? Which marriage did Jesus administer apart from attending one? Marriages are suppose to be between families. The church has no role  in marriages apart teaching couples the word of God and the mind of God about marriages. A church is an institution set up by God to combat sin and prepare people for heaven. A church is not an institution set up by God to be meddling in people’s marrital affairs. This must be made very clear to all believers before we ascribe too much power to men of God and I am a man of God myself but I stand for the truth regardless.

You cannot tell me a woman should obey her pastor and not obey her husband and expect peace at home. If you are a man and your woman obeys her pastor more than you then she is not your real wife. Pastors must teach the women to obey their husbands at home and not see men of God as gods in people’s marriages.

A church is not a final authority on marriage but the family of the couples. A marriage can still hold without a wedding infact that is the true marriage. Today churches have made marriages their central affair and even forbids members from marrying outside. Jehovah witnesses forbids their members from marrying from other denominations. This is wrong. Marriage is suppose to be between man and woman not Christian and Christian or Muslim and Muslim or unbelievers and unbelievers.

You can marry anyone so long as you love the person. Until their pastors approve a suitor, some women will not accept the proposal of a particular man. Who gave your pastor that right? Any man of God should prove to me in the Bible where God gave him the right to decide who a suitor is for somebody? The church is forsaking it’s heavenly mandate of soul winning and concentrating on forming the church as a soceity or an assembly with lots of social activities to keep members happy in the church.

I can for sure say that the holy ghost is not in many churches today because they don’t do what pleases him. I repeat, marriage is not church business, let he who has ear hear what the spirit says. My daughter dare not come to me telling me my pastor said, my pastor said about her marriage, hell will break loose that day. Men of God must learn to concentrate on the spiritual calling and stop interfering in people’s marriages.

Today many women are in churches praying for husbands and many men too. Who told you the house of God is a place to find a marriage partner? Did you not go to school? Didn’t you have classmates or do you not see men in your neighbourhood or village or at your work place? Is it the house of God where you are coming to worship God that you come looking for husbands.

90% of women in churches are looking for marriages, fruits of the womb etc. This is not bad but please this is not the purpose of a church. Let no man of God deceive you your marriage is in any witchcraft pot. Madam, change your attitude and serve God well and you will have marriage. The abortions and people’s husband’s you have slept bwitg in the past that is what is delaying your marriage not any witch please. Women love to be deceived and so are being deceived by many men of God.

Today alot of women regard the pastors more than their husbands and fathers. This is very wrong and unacceptable to God. The head of every woman is the man, the Bible says not the pastor so pastors should stop assuming the roles of headship over people’s wives. Many marriages have been wrecked because of activities of these pastors in marriages. If my wife comes to me with anything about my marriage from her pastor, I will drive her away to go and marry her pastor. This nonsense must stop in the house of God.

When Jesus wanted to talk to the Samaria woman he said go and call your husband. You don’t deal with people’s wives directly, you must recognise her headship. Even in a corporate office, you cannot bypass a boss and give instructions to the surbordinate how much more an institution set up by God and he has made the man the head. If you want your church to grow and go far, stop interfering in people’s marriages. You can preach and advice about marriage but don’t interfere in people’s home affairs. Give counsel as a man of God not judgement in people’s marriages because you have your own marriage to run.

God did not commission churches to administer marrital issues. The primary objective of a church is preaching the word of God to the poor, winning souls, raising the dead, healing the sick. Jesus did not send his disciples to go and bless marriages but to do his work. Churches that makes marriages their priority just want to covet members and have a succession plan through the family system, it’s all about members.

Someone should prove to me in the Bible where Jesus ministration was about marriages or asked church leaders to conduct marriages? Today without a wedding couples consider their traditional marriages not complete. This is not Christ mandate. Both the ordinance marriages and weddings are not from God. Real marriages is customary and between families. No wonder why we have so many divorce cases. The white man’s idea of marriage is not exactly of God.

Note: The featured image of the article is my parents, Mr and Mrs Quayson. I want to honour them. I dedicate this article to them. They have been married for over forty years and given birth to three strong men and one strong woman (three Accountants/I T personnel and a nurse). My father is an Accountant/Chief himself and my mother a business woman. We are all alive and doing fantastic in our field of endeavours. Their marriage is still solid as gold and it is a traditional marriage.

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